Whelp, I've been working out but just not keeping track of it. It was an off day today and I resume as usual tomorrow. I saw what my ass looks like in a video I made and it really disappointed me, like really. All this time I thought it was great, and I went outside not concerned when people saw me. Now I'm so embarrassed and it introverts me so much when I have to jog past people. I keep thinking to myself "pleasedontlookatmyasspleasedontlookatmyasspleasedontlookatmyass". It sounds so trivial and stupid, but thankfully I'm a lot better than I was in my teens. I know this will pass. It's just really tough to motivate myself right now.
Worse, I think I've hit some kind of plateau, so this is horrible timing. Not to mention, the other day I set my alarm for 7ish, and a second one for 9ish. I told myself I would stay asleep if I was too tired for the first. Well, I was so tired that I forgot that thought, and couldn't tell I was so tired! I went jogging anyways, and this is like the day after I saw my ass. My thoughts were so dark and I couldn't figure out why, I just wanted to stop jogging and cry. So I cut that run short, especially when it dawned on me that I was sleep deprived. Ugh... After enough sleep and a rest day, I went out again with better results, but still introverted and unmotivated. I hope I can shake this soon. I might take 2 Bx before I go tomorrow morning, just in case!!
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