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a light read and perhaps a good laugh.


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OK, let me preface by saying I joined very recently and I've been Vegan for a year and a month. I'm a(n)(x) smoker, (Put out what plans to be my last 5 minutes ago) Quite literally have never picked up a weight a day in my life and what working out I have done was in performing arts and martial arts with body weight, which I may add I faked and avoided it when no one was looking ie. 1..5..35..50 done! I am very athletic but also very A.D.D and lazy. Why in the hell would someone like me be here you may ask? Well, one very simple and psuedo-childish reason...To stick it to EVERYONE who is always saying how unhealthy veganism is and how they think I have an eating disorder, or my family's favorite "I'm just doing it to please my wife, give it alittle while he'll be back to eating four big macs a day." How I have to GOOGLE Robert Cheeke and other people to show that not every vegan is 90lbs wet with boots on. I maybe lazy when it comes to working out but I am mentally determined and bullheaded as an Rottweiler.

So, without further ado my stats

height: 6'3"

weight: 180

measurments: not a clue

I eat almost only whole food, nothing too processed, I'll tip back a Dr. Pepper, don't drink alcohol, no other substance and TOBACCO FREE!

reading alot of the posts I am finding I haven't the slightest clue what the hell most are talking about as far as the different exercises, flys and presses and BW and the like

Haven't done a single exercise yet so I was maybe just thinking push-ups and pull ups and different movements to work the kinks out. Joining a gym tomorrow but also can't afford a personal trainer so I have to sit there and read the directions.

 

So bear with me, and I can take all the advice I can get. I am obviously not doin this for show, no matter how far this goes I really don't think I could stand there and let people judge my clinched buttocks.

So let's hear it people!!! extremely clean slate, mold me!!

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Holy Crap balls! 1 pull up, 3 pushups... I guess the whole point is to go til you fail, it only took 5 minutes, that's efficent. I should also look at it as 1 pull up more than I did yesterday and the start thousands more! I honestly tried to do more, I pulled and pulled til my muscles screamed. the push ups burned but my wrists hurt more than anything,

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I started at 1 pullup too and I can do 10 (kipping) in a row now. It does get easier. I highly recommend you record your progress. I record my maxes once per month and it is kinda cool looking back to see how far you've actually come. Good luck.

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Try holding your pull up in the up position for as long as you can, that will help you start strengthening those muscles and help you work towards getting to the point where you can do more actual pullups.

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Oops also if you end up going to a gym they often have a machine that assists with pullups that you can decrease the amount of weight you have to pull up so you can take like 10 lbs off of your body weight. You'd be surprised on how many more you can do with a little bit of weight removed. The machine has a platform that you either stand or kneel on. Adding more weight takes less weight off of what you have to pullup. Its the opposite of most machines at the gym.

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This is, hands down, the first time I ever read a newbie's post and had to bookmark the thread on my computer. You are absolutely hysterical! You write well, you're jam-packed with attitude and energy, and you have an awareness of detail that means your life will never be dull. I don't wanna miss a word.

 

Your Pitbull DNA will serve you well as you go. Reading the directions on the side of the machines is actually not a bad way to start. If you get frustrated or bored, just pretend the instructions are directions for kinky sex. Now, read them again. You'll laugh so hard, you won't be able to complete a single set but you'll get a fantastic ab workout.

 

I recommend taking BEFORE measurements for your own personal wow factor. Nothing says "Suck on this, doubters!" more than impressive stats that roll off the tongue. Measure around your flexed bicep, relaxed chest, waist, relaxed thigh, and flexed calf, write it all down and file it away somewhere. Pull it out again in three months and repeat.

 

The more you lift and generate endorphins, the easier it becomes for the body to discard nicotine cravings. Really.

 

Welcome. Have fun.

 

Baby Herc

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A boy wanted to learn kung fu so he climbed upthe mountain to seek the teacher. The teacher told him if he wanted to know kung fu fill this container with water slap all the water out and then fill it again.Again and again he does this the more he does the more frustrated he gets the harder he slaps the water out. So for 5 years that

is all he ever did. All the time wondering when he would start learning. Till one day the

teacher told him to go home he has nothing else to teach him. Very disgruntled he leaves

and goes home to his village, everyone there knew he had been training for so long so

 

they were eager to know what he had learned. “ I learned nothing!” the boy would tell

them. "You had to have learned something don't be modest show us!" On and On they chant and the boy gets more angry until he screams "I'VE LEARNED NOTHING!!!" then he slaps a brick wall a foot thick and it crumbles to the ground... The essence of water, you can gently glide your fingers through it and it gives no resistance. Slap it with everything you have and not only does it return that energy it doubles the impact. Do it over and over

again and it strengthens you.Life gives you containers of water everyday. Tedious things that appear not to be important. If you glide through them you gain nothing. But give it all you have you can gain the strength to burst through the barriers of life.

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burst through the barriers of life.

 

Thanks for the good laugh.

 

I've heard parables like the kung fu student's before but the moral taught to me was very different. The nature of the Universe is mirrored in water: it is malleable, manageable, and easily manipulated if you work with its elements instead of against them. It becomes comfortable and easy, the solution flows to you instead of you having to chase after it. When you understand and respect water, it can even be harnessed and leveraged to do the work for you! The only energies required are thought and patience. But when you apply impatient force, water becomes stone. It pushes back. It's an elegant axiom of physics that every force is met with an equal and opposite force. Remember arguing with your Mom over whether or not to wear a coat outside when you were seven?

 

All masters begin each challenge with careful thought--what is the essential nature of the situation and is the situation truly as I see it? Is that the only way to see it? Is force the only solution here or does it merely seem like the solution because that is the tool I reach for most? Do I use force because it the best way or because I receive approval for it? Are there really "barriers" in life or have I created barriers so that I can "burst through them" to receive my social reward? Who set up that system? Was it, perhaps, those in power who were looking for ways to convince me that slaving away and pushing against things was noble and laudable? Did they have an ulterior motive for keeping my nose to their grindstone? Where am I putting most of my energy and what sort of return am I getting for it? It's a curious place we've arrived at when we celebrate the least efficient methods and condemn the ones that preserve energy and resources.

 

Ha, ha--I know the story is supposed to be about a student learning a martial art but embedded in every story is a social more in the form of a strong coded message that rewards a hero for conforming. I always see the more first, it's just so loud. What are your favorite stories, both fictional and real? Do any of the heroes win without applying any physical force whatsoever? Here is another parable about water:

 

A martial arts student went to his teacher and said earnestly, "I am devoted to studying your martial system. How long will it take me to master it?" The teacher's reply was casual, "Ten years." Impatiently, the student answered, "But I want to master it faster than that. I will work very hard. I will practice everyday, ten or more hours a day if I have to. How long will it take then?" The teacher thought for a moment, "20 years."

 

Baby Herc

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Thanks Family for the encouragement and positive feed back.

Research is limited and I don't know that I don't know so it's hard to search for good information. What makes sense to me is that I am breaking down my muscles and my body says "Oh shit, this some bitch is doing crap he hasn't done, we need to be ready for the next time" so it builds more muscle or basically heals. So exertion is only half the battle, there is rest and recovery. Lifting doesn't per sey build muscle, the rest does. So I've been neglecting that it seems. I've been workin like a whore on nickle night doing push ups and pull ups when ever I can find time, but I think it may be working against me. Not to mention if my body doesn't have what it needs to build muscle during that process it's not doing it effieceintly as well. So nutrition is also a factor not only what I eat but maybe when I eat. If my body is digesting what I give it when it should be utilizing than I'm fighting. If it's available when it's not needing it than it would store it correct? I could be storing fat even though I am trying to burn it. There has to be some sort of data that says if you eat x food at y time it's available at z moment for maximum process. OR am I overcomplicating things? it just makes sense if i eat a protein source it takes time and digestion for it to become useable for my body. You can't drink a gallon of water then run a marathon thinking that it will run like a car. Just some blathering I guess but I don't want to put in all this effort then not get maximum results I would like to devise a way to eat for nutrition and maximum utilization. Any thoughts?

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Thanks Family for the encouragement and positive feed back.

Research is limited and I don't know that I don't know so it's hard to search for good information. What makes sense to me is that I am breaking down my muscles and my body says "Oh shit, this some bitch is doing crap he hasn't done, we need to be ready for the next time" so it builds more muscle or basically heals. So exertion is only half the battle, there is rest and recovery. Lifting doesn't per sey build muscle, the rest does.

Right. You win a cookie.

 

I've been workin like a whore on nickle night

 

doing push ups and pull ups when ever I can find time, but I think it may be working against me.

Right again. Cookie time.

 

Not to mention if my body doesn't have what it needs to build muscle during that process it's not doing it effieceintly as well. So nutrition is also a factor not only what I eat but maybe when I eat.

Cookie.

 

If my body is digesting what I give it when it should be utilizing than I'm fighting. If it's available when it's not needing it than it would store it correct?

Cookie.

 

I could be storing fat even though I am trying to burn it. There has to be some sort of data that says if you eat x food at y time it's available at z moment for maximum process. OR am I overcomplicating things?

Nope, and you're accumulating a lot of cookies.

 

it just makes sense if i eat a protein source it takes time and digestion for it to become useable for my body. You can't drink a gallon of water then run a marathon thinking that it will run like a car.

I wish. (sigh)

 

Just some blathering I guess but I don't want to put in all this effort then not get maximum results I would like to devise a way to eat for nutrition and maximum utilization. Any thoughts?

For a guy who professes not to know what he's doing, you've sure got a big pile of cookies. In a nutshell, yes, there are general rules but everyone's different so tweaking those rules to optimize your experience will be most of your work...other than the actual sweating and lifting, of course. You'll get some differing info in response to your food queries, so start with whatever seems to make sense to you and go from there. The brain and body can only learn so much so fast so don't worry about downloading it all overnight.

 

On the resting, there is one pretty hard and fast rule: muscles need approximately 48 hours to fully recover from a workout that tires them. Working legs, for instance, two days in a row, hard, means the first day you broke down your muscles and the second day you destroyed your gains. It's the reason I don't do legs the day before or after a hike. You will use certain muscles again and again to assist certain moves (your forearms and grip are in use 24/7) but there's a difference between assisting and targeting them specifically.

 

Doing a few pushups as a warmup on a daily basis isn't going to hurt anything if you enjoy it but if your goal is muscle growth, it makes sense to incorporate them into a periodic split and leave them there. A split is a schedule where the weight lifter divides up his or her routine into portions to give each area rest time to optimize their results. They can go by body area (back day, chest day, leg day) or specific muscle groups (triceps/back/neck day, biceps/delts/forearm day) or even the type of motion required (pushing day, pulling day). Then, they spread it out according to the time they have to lift and how intense they will be working the split (three day split, five day split, morning/evening split). Within each split is a system of reps and sets. Reps (repetitions) are the individual times you execute a lifting maneuver within a set. Usually, the lower the reps, the higher the weight used. That's for powerlifters; they tend to do between one and six reps. When you use light weights for very high reps (15-40 per set), you're training your body for endurance stuff, like triathlons, etc. Your muscles won't get large but they'll hold up over the long haul. Bodybuilders inhabit the midrange and they perform the most delicate balancing act of all three: doing just enough weight at just enough reps at exactly the right time to keep the muscles growing steadily without doing undesirable damage. That beautiful sweet spot of bulging chest, arms, and legs tends to lie in the 3-5 set, 8-12 reps range.

 

Start by seriously deciding how may days a week you are able to lift and how many minutes a day you'll have to do it. Be honest with yourself. Better to start slow and be a gradual success than screw the pooch and wind up back where you started in a twitching pile of frustration, guilt, and DOMS. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_onset_muscle_soreness Also, doing fewer moves well is far more effective than blasting through a long program of bad form. Pick up one exercise for each muscle, practice it in your split until you can execute it perfectly like a robot and the weight feels too light, then experiment with more weight and additional moves. Just start somewhere, try it for a few weeks or a month, then reevaluate. Tweak, repeat.

 

Articles on types of splits: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/bbinfo.php?page=trainingsplits

 

Baby Herc, off to Pushing Day

 

PS: viewtopic.php?f=19&t=27544

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If you want to learn...get over to http://www.t-nation.com Prob the best site for articles, info ect

 

Also there's nothing wrong doing pull/push ups together I train this way..If I push I also pull eg

 

On over head press/bench press day I do pull ups with various grips between each set. People will usually plan workout days around the body area eg back, this mean hitting all pulling movements. Reverse with bench, all pushing. So i balance my workouts...if I push I should also pull.

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Thanks for the links peoples! great info! Membership to gym is bought and paid for...for the next 2 years! I'm saying hello to my new home away from home 24 hour fitness. And saying goodbye to my old skinny, scrawny self. I have to get some "before" pics atleast on record if not posted on here ASAP. Looking forward mostly to the "runners high" and the healthy feeling I hear about.

Edited by paulamrein
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Perhaps also need to apologize for the language. I really don't have a filter from brain to mouth, it broke years ago. Sorry

 

You just outed yourself as a newbie. Those of us who've been in the trenches for a while know that's NOTHING compared to what SOME people have churned out in here. Relax. Keep writing.

 

Baby Herc

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cool B.H just making sure, I picked up my sailor tongue from my mother, it's an art form and our native language at the Amrein house. My blue and gold macaw is worse. My wife loves the Calvin and Hobbes avatar Starting weight training on Wednesday, implementing the phase 1 regiment and solid stretching. I was also thinking about the differences between the major muscles and the minor muscles, is there a way to isolate the minors in one workout then the majors in another. If so, does that still classify the same muscle group? I would speculate that the majors give the mass while the minors give the definition. Maybe not, obviously they have function in performance or they wouldn't be there. I am analytical to the extreme. I'm actually a few weeks ahead of schedule, I usually research things to death before implementing my plans.

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cool B.H just making sure, I picked up my sailor tongue from my mother, it's an art form and our native language at the Amrein house. My blue and gold macaw is worse. My wife loves the Calvin and Hobbes avatar Starting weight training on Wednesday, implementing the phase 1 regiment and solid stretching. I was also thinking about the differences between the major muscles and the minor muscles, is there a way to isolate the minors in one workout then the majors in another. If so, does that still classify the same muscle group? I would speculate that the majors give the mass while the minors give the definition. Maybe not, obviously they have function in performance or they wouldn't be there. I am analytical to the extreme. I'm actually a few weeks ahead of schedule, I usually research things to death before implementing my plans.

 

I haven't met any sailors who speak as politely as you do.

 

Amrein = German? Wirklich?

 

Blue and gold macaw? I'm dying to know.

 

Your wife has excellent taste. Calvin and Hobbes is a classic. Tell her to create an account on here. What's her name? Does she lift? Is she tempted?

 

More later.

 

Baby Herc

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  • 1 year later...

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